LGBT JETs

[nyc_to_japan]

Hey everyone!

With the departure date fast approaching, I wanted to start this topic because I'm curious about a few things. I searched "lgbt" and haven't really found any relevant topics, so I thought I'd start my own.

So, I have a few questions and I will try to be as organized as possible, rather than just vomit my thoughts out in the most unorganized way possible and expect people to understand them, which I tend to do sometimes.

1. Is anyone reading this currently in the program and willing to share their experiences on this topic? As in, are you completely out at your school, have you had any problems, etc? Or, if you are not LGBT yourself but have an LGBT related experience in the program (not of the experimenting kind, although I'm sure that's interesting too, wink wink, but of the "my friend is gay and the inaka village people stoned him" or "my friend is gay and the girls are making explicit doujinshi about him" variety), care to share your thoughts?

2. If you are LGBT and entering the program, what do you plan on doing about it? I currently live in NYC, where you can basically do whatever you want and no one cares. For this reason, I requested cities because I thought it would be easier to be an open lesbian there. I don't look "obvious" - I quite enjoy being girly a lot of the time, though honestly, as I write this, I'm wearing a plaid shirt and docs and reinforcing many stereotypes, LOL - but in some ways, that almost makes it harder because they will assume from the start that I'm straight. So, I guess it's about subtle hints - "do you have a boyfriend?" "no, but I quite enjoy women!" (although, with the students in class, I probably will just avoid the question?) So, what do you plan on doing? Obviously, this will change depending on your situation. Just curious what your thoughts are now.

3. To LGBT and LGBT loving folk, which is hopefully everyone, haha! Would you all be interesting in starting some kind of new Stonewall JET type group? Does one already exist? I've looked at the links to the Stonewall group, but everything seems to be defunct as of maybe 2009 or 2010. But I'd love to connect with other LGBT JETs, and maybe go to some lgbt spots in Shinjuku during Tokyo Orientation, and/or plan some lgbt events for during the year.

Overall, I'm not really worried - JET has shown itself to be a very accepting organization from what I've seen! I'm just curious about how these things actually seem to work themselves out while you're in Japan. And I know that there is some kind of AJET LGBT Support Group, too, but I don't know much about it and all the four letter capital words are discouraging. ;D

So, thoughts?

[Kirari]

Cheers to you for asking this question! I am one of the "LGBT lovin folk", haha. Would love to see what people's experiences have been. I'm an active supporter of gay rights at home and will help out with whatever, even if it's just serving spiked punch at get-togethers, lol. Plus, my gay best friend wants to know where to go when he comes to visit.

though honestly, as I write this, I'm wearing a plaid shirt and docs and reinforcing many stereotypes, LOL

Actual lol!

[happytofu]

There was a great thread about this over on ITIL not too long ago. It was pretty comforting... gave me additional courage to even apply... I recommend giving it a read.

To be completely honest, I just sort of expect to be lonely and single and closeted while I'm there.

[Trudi]

I just saw one of the youtube videos about this subject- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa6RKsqKgNw
If that doesn't work just search JET Program Vlog #16b
He doesn't really say much about it tho.

And I know there will be a workshop/seminar type thing about it at Tokyo Orientation too.

Tx

[Heather]

Kudos on the brave post!

Now, I'm now an expert, but my research tells me that LGBT people are generally accepted in Japan, esp. since there are no religious prohibitions against it like there is in many Christian countries. That being said, there is little protective legislation for the LGBT against discrimination (check out Wikipedia's LGBt rights in Japan page). The young Japanese I have met have been cool with gay and bi people though. That being said, you might have someone who is not cool with it on your teaching staff.

My advice is to keep it on the downlow at work (in a workplace that focuses on group harmony and good working relationships, you might want to avoid all controversial topics until you get to know you coworkers better). However, outside of work or with friends, I would hope that you can be open about your sexualiy. You should not feel th you have to hide in the closet. You'll have to trust your judgement, but I don't foresee an issue there.

I love the idea of this topic though! Its a good idea to have support like this .

[nyc_to_japan]

Kirari - glad to have you "on our side," so to speak! I have actually been researching where to go in Japan, and it seems like most of the best gay places are in Shinjuku in Tokyo, so you can take the gay bf there! It seems like a lot of them are really hard to find, though - on upper floors or in slightly unmarked buildings. IDK! And spiked punch is always necessary, so please come to any LGBT gatherings you want to attend, LOL

omnom - oh heeey, another NYC consulate LGBT person! yay! I kind of have the same expectations, to be honest, about being lonely and single and closeted. I can picture myself in a relatively inaka place secretly going to lesbian bars in Shinjuku on weekends and coming back and saying I went sight-seeing to straight-ville or something, LOL. I mean, like I said in the first post, I'm not very "obvious," and so it's very easy to assume, even here in NYC where you can be tree-sexual and accepted, that I'm straight. So, in Japan, where I think out people are a lot less prevalent, I'm sure the straight assumptions will be made even more. I'll have to check out the ITIL thread. I've read it a bit, and that's why I'm not terrified and it seems JET is pretty accepting overall, but I'm really interested in individual experiences and possible LGBT hangouts! It seems like it won't be a problem at all, but being closeted can be so taxing, even when it's just an omission sort of thing where you just avoid all sexuality-related topics as opposed to outright lying and claiming you're straight. They both suck big time. I would hate for sexuality to somehow jeopardize the job, too - although, of course, this is again dependent on the situations that we get placed into!

Trudi - thanks for the link - he brings up some good points, one that I've thought of a lot myself. I don't want my time there to be "tainted" by my sexuality, in that I don't want the school to think of me as the gay foreigner, ha. But it also sucks to be closeted. I guess it's about being discrete at school but finding ways to have an open personal life or something, I don't know! It's a tricky situation!

Heather - I agree! That seems like the best option. I mean, it seems almost backwards because I've fought a long time to be openly gay now, but I know that going to a different country is a totally different ballpark. It's not about my own personal struggles - I've gotten past those - so now it's about acclimating to a new culture and environment, I guess. Though, from this INDIVIDUALS ARE AWESOME American viewpoint, it feels as if I am compromising myself by not being out - but in a way, I am actually empowering myself because I know that the climate I'm going into is not the same as my climate at home, and that I am already judged as a foreigner, etc, so adding that into the mix from the beginning will put me into a box that will be difficult to get out of, whereas if I am discrete at work and out amongst friends, assuming I make some when I can't speak Japanese (LOL), that will work better. And then eventually, when I'm a reliable JET/school and community member, if word gets out that I'm gay, they will already know me as something beyond my sexuality. Hmmmmmmmmm. Lots to think about with this topic!

[tashikanakoto]

To be completely honest, I just sort of expect to be lonely and single and closeted while I'm there.

LOL.


In my experience, Japanese people are very supportive of LGBT people. As you all may know, samurais were expected to have male lovers, female courtiers in the Heian period regularly had informal relationships, etc blah blah blah. It's wasn't until the Meiji Restoration that Japan actively tried to hush it all up under all the Western influence.

However, sexuality in general is a very taboo topic in Japan. You won't see a gay couple kissing in public in Japan for the same reason you won't see a straight couple kissing in public -- people just don't do it. Love, affection, and relationships are very private matters there. So coming into school and announcing your sexuality to everyone probably isn't the best idea, and will probably not even be necessary.

I lived in Japan for an entire year during high school, and I came out to only a few Japanese people. Nobody else cared, or asked about relationships, or if they did, I just avoided the question and we left it at that. For the Japanese people that do know, they were a bit surprised at first. Not surprised that someone would be gay -- but surprised that I would think it necessary to tell them. People just don't care and things like this are usually kept under wraps. I think that's the reason why Japan has so few protections for LGBT people -- not because people are against it, but because nobody wants to talk about sexuality and private matters.

Now that I think of it, I remember coming out to a group of girls in my class when we all went out for ramen after school one day. They kept asking me what kinds of girls I liked, blah blah blah. Finally I got so fed up and just put it out there that I liked boys. They all squealed in delight, asked a few questions, and nobody ever made anything out of it after that. Quite refreshing when compared to all the American girls who ask a billion rude questions and then insist on going shopping with me and making me do their hair. I DON'T WANT TO TOUCH YOUR HAIR AND I DON'T WANT TO GO SHOPPING WITH YOU. /rant

Even people from a different generation were very supportive. My host mom and one of her friends knew, and they did not care one bit. But, then again, my host mom was sort of a queer icon in the city, as she used to take me to a bar all the time that a lot of MTF transgendered women would frequent, and they all loved her (and me by association). That being said, Japan seems to be a lot more supportive of transgendered people than in the US...

Anyway, I'm sure we'll all do fine. And, in case anyone cares, our Tokyo Orientation hotel, the Keio Plaza is located in Shinjuku, which actually has the world's highest concentration of gay bars. GAY NIGHT, ANYONE??? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

Edit: let me know about that Stonewell JET group!!!!!!! I def want to be involved!

[Heather]

omnom - oh heeey, another NYC consulate LGBT person! yay! I kind of have the same expectations, to be honest, about being lonely and single and closeted. I can picture myself in a relatively inaka place secretly going to lesbian bars in Shinjuku on weekends and coming back and saying I went sight-seeing to straight-ville or something, LOL. I mean, like I said in the first post, I'm not very "obvious," and so it's very easy to assume, even here in NYC where you can be tree-sexual and accepted, that I'm straight. So, in Japan, where I think out people are a lot less prevalent, I'm sure the straight assumptions will be made even more. I'll have to check out the ITIL thread. I've read it a bit, and that's why I'm not terrified and it seems JET is pretty accepting overall, but I'm really interested in individual experiences and possible LGBT hangouts! It seems like it won't be a problem at all, but being closeted can be so taxing, even when it's just an omission sort of thing where you just avoid all sexuality-related topics as opposed to outright lying and claiming you're straight. They both suck big time. I would hate for sexuality to somehow jeopardize the job, too - although, of course, this is again dependent on the situations that we get placed into!

Trudi - thanks for the link - he brings up some good points, one that I've thought of a lot myself. I don't want my time there to be "tainted" by my sexuality, in that I don't want the school to think of me as the gay foreigner, ha. But it also sucks to be closeted. I guess it's about being discrete at school but finding ways to have an open personal life or something, I don't know! It's a tricky situation!

Heather - I agree! That seems like the best option. I mean, it seems almost backwards because I've fought a long time to be openly gay now, but I know that going to a different country is a totally different ballpark. It's not about my own personal struggles - I've gotten past those - so now it's about acclimating to a new culture and environment, I guess. Though, from this INDIVIDUALS ARE AWESOME American viewpoint, it feels as if I am compromising myself by not being out - but in a way, I am actually empowering myself because I know that the climate I'm going into is not the same as my climate at home, and that I am already judged as a foreigner, etc, so adding that into the mix from the beginning will put me into a box that will be difficult to get out of, whereas if I am discrete at work and out amongst friends, assuming I make some when I can't speak Japanese (LOL), that will work better. And then eventually, when I'm a reliable JET/school and community member, if word gets out that I'm gay, they will already know me as something beyond my sexuality. Hmmmmmmmmm. Lots to think about with this topic!

That sounds like a good polcy. You might want to ask at orientation though, someone there might know. I'm used to taking it slow at home though, so it might not be a big adjustment for me. Eithor way, you'll be fine.

[nyc_to_japan]

tashikanakoto - your info from past experience is really helpful! Also, sounds like you had a gay-tastic host family. amazing!! And also, double (triple?) amazing, you are now the third LGBT NYC Consulate member! you and omnom and I! How exciting! I am definitely interested in re-starting the Stonewall group...maybe we can work together and get something going! TO will definitely have to have a Gay Night!! YAY!

(Sorry for the abundance of exclamation points, but I'm EXCITED!)

Now, on a more serious note, that's really good insight I hadn't thought of about how private Japanese people are with things like sexuality and how much it impacts this topic - especially about how the lack of protection for LGBT people is probably related to how private everyone is about these matters. It makes a lot of sense and is very reassuring. I honestly wasn't really concerned that I'd be rejected or anything like that, but I just didn't (and don't) know what to expect! I guess I'll find out soon enough.

Also, I think NYC might be the gayest consulate so far...just sayin.


and Heather - yes, I plan on taking advantage of all the LGBT offerings TO has to offer so I can ask all my questions...but of course, I wanna ask them NOW first.

[tashikanakoto]

Well, New York is just about the gayest city on earth!

I agree, though, being in a different environment will be tough. New Jersey is one of the best places on earth to be gay, mostly because of our "live and let live" attitude. (Has anyone ever seen that sketch on YouTube of a mother finding out her son is gay, and then she finally just decides to accept it and cook dinner for him? That's New Jersey. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeahDax24Dg We are very much "SO WHAT WHO CARES")

But Japan will be fine. It will be a gayventure.

[nyc_to_japan]

I love the NJ Mom's hair/general style in that video...so New Jersey, LOL.

Yes, Japan will definitely be a gayventure...and even if I'm in a 500-person village in the middle of nowhere, hopefully I will find my gay fun somewhere! Seriously, though, after reading your first response, I feel a lot better about the whole thing, and a lot less like I will become the village leper if anyone finds out I'm a lesbian. So, thanks! ESID, of course, but I think, in general, it will be fine.

[tashikanakoto]

I love the NJ Mom's hair/general style in that video...so New Jersey, LOL.

Yes, Japan will definitely be a gayventure...and even if I'm in a 500-person village in the middle of nowhere, hopefully I will find my gay fun somewhere! Seriously, though, after reading your first response, I feel a lot better about the whole thing, and a lot less like I will become the village leper if anyone finds out I'm a lesbian. So, thanks! ESID, of course, but I think, in general, it will be fine.

Glad to have assured you!!! If you have ANY questions let me know! And great to see we already have a good LGBT JET community!

[nyc_to_japan]

I will definitely let you know! And yes - hopefully more people chime in with their LGBT-ness and we can get a big community going!

[happytofu]

I've heard mixed things about LGBT in Japan myself... like how some Japanese honestly think gay people are as fictional as unicorns. But your posts are assuring. At least I won't get hate crime'd... and... lesbian bars in Japan? Seriously?? How the heck did I thrice miss that? (Probably because, being a rural town girl, I mostly avoided the cities...)

TL;DR personal story: I've never officially come out to anyone, but everyone knows. People just figure me out pretty quickly. I do have some stereotypical habits (I won't do dresses or heels, and I'm weary of makeup), but I think it's more my boyish personality. Still, I was literally backed into a corner at work a couple months ago, when asked what my husband did for me for Valentine's Day. By two women I know pretty well! How did they get the idea I was married? And they weren't joking! I evaded their questions until, backed into the corner of our kitchen counter, I finally had to stutter out that I couldn't get married in this state (PA) even if I wanted. And they just stared blankly. I had to spell it out for them. "...because I don't really date men." ARGH!!

I'm jealous of you actual NYC girls. I've only been a handful of city gaybourhoods, and only very recently. I was actually kicking myself a little for leaving to JAPAN after just finally starting to form a real social life. (Up until very recently, my circle of friends consisted entirely of male computer geeks I went to college with... all trying to convert me.) So, again, I'm actually a bit thrilled to hear it's not the heterosexual wasteland I thought.

[Siyris]

There was a long thread about this last year but I can't find it at the moment.

Anyway, there is a pretty strong base of LGBTQA JETs, though we are pretty scattered. There is an AJET group (Stonewall AJET: http://sigs.ajet.net/viewforum.php?f=19 or http://www.facebook.com/groups/stonewallajet/ ) where you can interact with others. We have events throughout the year and its a really friendly group of people.

There are certainly some difficulties associated with being LGBT in Japan, but like everything else it depends on where you are placed. For me, I'm closeted around my coworkers but the ALTs in my area know. I know people who have come out at work as well and I've heard of reactions ranging from disgust and ignoring the fact the person came out, to indifference, to wild interest. There is also a LGBT session at Tokyo Orientation put on by Stonewall AJET that I would encourage you to go to.

If anyone has any specific questions, feel free to send me a private message.