Inappropriate touching

[fiori]

I am sure most of you have had some experience with certain students getting a bit "handy", whether it be an attempted kancho or a hopeful grab (to both male and female ALTs). To be honest I haven't had any issues with my shogakusei, who are mostly all friendly and polite (with some exceptions) however at my chugakko there are about 6 or 7 boys who always want to make a grab for my crotch. I have taught these kids since they were ichinensei and at first they were little brats, but only in the usual, "oh, let's say penis a million times because its funny" way. These boys are now 3rd years and they have now moved up a stage to decide to try and grab me everytime they pass, resulting in me firmly grabbing their wrist and telling them off (which of course does nothing). They do it right in front of their homeroom teacher, who does/says nothing about it and just goes about her business as usual, whilst I am thinking, WTF?

So can I do? It seems like a strange thing for me to say to a teacher "can you stop the kids from touching my junk please", however it seems like I can't handle it myself I wonder what I could say to them to make them think "why am I trying to touch my teacher?" but I am sure that whatever I say would just be laughed off. So without causing them injury, what is the best course of action?

[teabot]

have you considered mentioning it to your PA?

a coworker of mine had a somewhat similar problem, but it was fixed when it was reported to the CA (i'm municipal) and BOE ALT supervisor during one meeting. the supervisor contacted the school, a formal apology was issued and the grabbing attempts stopped. i know the ken system might work a little differently, but it might be one way to approach the situation.

[EricaHartmann]

Have a conversation with them about anything. If their only way of interacting with you is a touching your junk, give them another way. Hopefully they will slowly replace the crotch grabbing with a 'hello'. At least this is what I've done.

[OdysseyOfNoises]

Stop them if needs be, but don't react. Act totally detached. Don't tell them off. If they get a reaction out of you, it'll spur them on. Change the topic (like the poster above has suggested).

If it doesn't stop after this, then take further action.

[word]

Sit down with them and have a serious heart-to-heart...

...about their homosexuality and appropriate ways of expressing homosexual attraction. Then, be all confused when they tell you they're not gay. Explain that you honestly thought they were homosexual because they were so interested in touching you down there.

It will stop.

[fiori]

Thanks for the replies. I guess I will try react less to it and see how it goes. The thing is, we do manage to talk about things and I can ask questions when they calm down, but as soon as that mob mentality/ attempts to one up each other takes hold then they forget all about any respect they should have. I would mention it my supervisor, but I think it would look strange for a guy to complain about such an issue. If something were actually to be said about it, then I wouldn't like a meeting to be held about my request to have students stop touching me, as I am sure it would create some kind of weird tension between me and other students/ teachers.

If I taught the class everyday then I am sure I would proactively try to stop it, but I rarely teach that year anymore so it's something I can be less concerned about. Tbh I find the touchy touchy behaviour with boys very strange in Japan, i'm not just talking about "let's grab the foreigner" but it's also when they sit on each others lap or wrestle each other to the floor. I am pretty sure we never did this in England

[fiori]

Sit down with them and have a serious heart-to-heart...

...about their homosexuality and appropriate ways of expressing homosexual attraction. Then, be all confused when they tell you they're not gay. Explain that you honestly thought they were homosexual because they were so interested in touching you down there.

It will stop.

This is a great idea, i'm sure it would embarasss them enough to make them stop, however I don't want to offend anyone who actually is

[Ode to a Grasshopper]

This is a great idea, i'm sure it would embarasss them enough to make them stop, however I don't want to offend anyone who actually is

You don't want to be groped, either, though, right?

Alternately you can just grab the first one to do it next time, spin them around, and offer the rest a 'Kancho-houdai'. Repeat as necessary.

[earnyoursleep]

The larger the reaction the more they're going to want to touch it.

I treat them like I would an adult. I give them a chance to stop it by saying "stop" or "yamete" in a serious tone with a serious face. If it continues I go to the JTE and have them talk to the kids or...... The PRINCIPAL

[word]

Sit down with them and have a serious heart-to-heart...

...about their homosexuality and appropriate ways of expressing homosexual attraction. Then, be all confused when they tell you they're not gay. Explain that you honestly thought they were homosexual because they were so interested in touching you down there.

It will stop.

This is a great idea, i'm sure it would embarasss them enough to make them stop, however I don't want to offend anyone who actually is

If you have any students who are homosexual, odds are they're significantly less likely to be attempting to grope you than the straight boys, in my experience (the few openly homosexual students I've had were among the kindest, most respectful students I've taught).

This method probably makes it sound like I'm just trolling for a LOL, but I think it is truly appropriate because (1) in the US, boys who attempt to grope one another's sexual organs are often assumed to be homosexual by their peers (even if it is not the case), so it could be important for young Japanese boys to realize the way such behavior is perceived in other places, and (2) it can be effective in embarrassing boys (according to their cultural standards) while simultaneously illustrating your sense of equality amongst individuals of varying sexual orientation (demonstrating your cultural standards).

[Guiteau]

Sit down with them and have a serious heart-to-heart...

...about their homosexuality and appropriate ways of expressing homosexual attraction. Then, be all confused when they tell you they're not gay. Explain that you honestly thought they were homosexual because they were so interested in touching you down there.

It will stop.

Don't do this.

I don't want to offend anyone who actually is

Because this.

Also because they're eight years old.

[word]

Don't do this.

Respectfully, I stand by my statement.

I don't want to offend anyone who actually is

Because this.

If you do it right, you won't do anything of the sort (well, I mean, people can manage to be offended by pretty much anything these days, but you won't offend anyone with half a brain).

Also because they're eight years old.

I don't know very many eight-year-olds who are in junior high school

[Steven_EhimePA]

The next time you grab one of them by the wrist, walk them all the way to the principal's office. If they haven't apologised by time you get there they certainly will once Kocho Sensei gets through with them. It's inappropriate, they're 15 and they should know better. They may act differently in class afterwards but if you don't do something about it, who will?

[Shem]

I like word's suggestion.

If you do it right it isn't homophobic, don't imply that it's a bad thing to like boys, just that they are acting as if they like boys (and let them decide that they don't want that).

Only problem is if it backfires and they say "yes I'm gay, so I can touch you!" but I don't think that's likely...

You CAN take it higher if you like, but that risks losing the trust of your students. They'll see you as an authority figure and not necessarily someone they can relate to. They don't treat you like a teacher now, but it's up to you if you want them to start or not. Your relationship will be different with them, but not necessarily better or worse.

[notJiggit]

Only problem is if it backfires and they say "yes I'm gay, so I can touch you!" but I don't think that's likely...

That's what a dude in my HS 1st year likes to tell me. It may be that these kids will say anything to make their friends laugh and if that's the case you don't want to get into a contest where you're just oneupping the inappropriateness.

You CAN take it higher if you like, but that risks losing the trust of your students. They'll see you as an authority figure and not necessarily someone they can relate to. They don't treat you like a teacher now, but it's up to you if you want them to start or not. Your relationship will be different with them, but not necessarily better or worse.

Isn't it time they started seeing him as a teacher? Maybe it's just because of my situation but I see no problem with this. The kids can still think you're cool and interesting and want to talk with you without you having to be their bestest buddy. The kids are not your friends and you shouldn't see your role as being to make friends with them. Being fun is one thing, trying to make the kids like you is kind of ok but trying to be their friend is an exercise in futility.